Follow the Lady
January 19th, 2008 by Gavin Clabaugh
I learned of the game the hard way. Sometimes it’s called “Follow the Lady” — you probably know it as “Three-card Monte.” It depends on the art of misdirection, distraction and illusion, and just a little sleight of hand. And now it seems, it’s played every night on the evening news. Even “The Daily Show” (or for now “A Daily Show”) seems to have been taken in by the artful dealer; fooled by the throw of the cards; fooled into casting the contests one by one, and ignoring the real story.
“What,” You say, “you don’t know the game?” Well, it’s easy… easy to play, easy to win. Step in a little closer…, trust me… Step right up, everyone’s a winner!
I learned the game when I worked a carnival one summer. Nope, I wasn’t “a carnie.” I was just a “greenie,” cheap summer labor. Being a carnie, well, that’s something you’re born too.
I was an innocent — called “a new” — maybe a half-step above the mooks and marks that meandered on the midway. Even now, I can sometimes catch a scent of that past, when the wind blows right. It’s scent that casts me back to those long days and thick summer nights, Kansas in late August.
They were nights where lightening-bugs punctuated the sky, and where every once in a while an elusive breeze would lift the scent of fresh-cut straw over the crowd, spiced with the burnt sugar scent of cotton candy, to fall lightly across my face as I barked the midway.
“Step right up and win a stuffed animal; everyone’s a winner,” I’d cry , as the crowd filled the midway, shuffling through the narrow lane formed by the “Ring Toss,”, “Shooting Gallery” and the rest of the joints that formed the main street of the carnival. I’d cry to the blue-eyed young women with straw colored hair, and to young men bedecked with tattered straw hats; all trailing a scent of the earth, Dove soap, and hard work.
Carnival life is no fun: I was either setting up a joint or tearing one down, or driving through the night, bound for the next small town. I worked my ass off and barely making enough to cover my tab at the concession stand. When I wasn’t working my ass off, my job was to bark on the midway, calling in the marks for a quick round of ring toss or to try their hand at knocking down a milk bottle with a baseball attached to a pendulum. The games aren’t gaffed, they aren’t rigged. Trust me, they’re straight. It’s just physics, sleight of hand, and misdirection. It’s the refined art of distraction that wins in the end.
Back to that great game, Three-Card Monte; it looks so easy. Just follow the lady. A good dealer can rope you in with a few easy wins. The shills entice and distract. I tried to learn the art of the throw and how to deal the cards; to artfully throw down one card while all the while looking like you’ve thrown the other. My hands were never good enough, my fingers never deft enough, my eyes were never shaded enough.
Today’s shills are working the media, on Fox, on NBC, and on CNN. They’re hyping the winners and losers, everyday. The news casts it continuously as a series of losers and winners — the art of misdirection.
In Iowa the surprise was Obama; in New Hampshire, Clinton was supposed to lose and lose big, only to surprise us all and win the stuffed elephant. (Or would that be a donkey?) Strangely, despite “losing,” Obama won more delegates.
But the story we hear: the pollsters are chagrined. It’s all the art of misdirection. Just between you and me, I take great pleasure in lying to the pollsters every chance I get. I advise you to do the same. Take great glee in knowing that they’re usually required to record faithfully everything you say. Imagine the possibilities.
All the while, there’s no game at all. In reality, it’s not the individual primaries that count. In fact, the media is just working the story they want to work. It’s a tie. As of this writing, neither is up, neither is down. It’s all the game of distraction.
They’re tied in a game that’s not played state by state; because it’s only the cumulative score that really matters. In Nevada Clinton added 14 to her score, while Obama added 14 to his. Obama has 38 delegates and Clinton has 36; film at 11:00. But there’s no news in that, is there? The game is called “Follow the Lady.” We’re distracted with the horserace, and we ignore the substance of the race. Step right up. Everyone’s a winner.